Birth is messy

Birth is messy.

I can be messy,

healing can be messy,

experiencing this humanness can be messy.

It is scary to go into the waters of emotions and thoughts.

The beliefs which have brought me here.

The messiness is an invitation to dive in.

I must feel to heal.

I must feel to heal.

I must feel to heal.

This last week,

I found myself in the bath tub sobbing, trembling.

Those old feelings, thoughts and beliefs came flooding back.

You are not safe,

run,

hide,

numb,

the old responses that I believed keep me safe.

Trauma exists.

It exists in the body.

It is exists in the emotions.

It exists in the subconscious mind.

It was like a flood of remembrance.

A willingness to feel the moments that wrote the stories of insecurity and fear.

This is where I have learned this is the invitation to go within.

My practice of inquiry and meditation.

In stillness,

silence,

release.

I experience who I am with the belief and who I would be without the thought.

Trust and surrender within the heart of who I am.

I must feel to heal.

I must feel to heal.

I must feel to heal.

My mind, my body and my emotions go back and revisit the moments where belief began.

A release.

The messy is the invitation to the clarity that anything and everything is in my power to change.

chose to feel,

chose to go within,

chose to invite all the emotions to be felt and expressed,

chose to dissolve all that is not,

the remembrance of the innocence and love I truly am.

I must feel to heal.

I must feel to heal.

I must feel to heal.

Who am I without that beliefs?

Innocence.

I am safe.

I connect to the compassion and love within.

The fear, shame and guilt dissolve.

No ascension,

centered back into who I am, what I am and how I serve

by feeling I now see the truest expression of the love that begins within.

I am divine

all the light,

all the dark,

everything and nothing,

experiencing through this body,

these emotions

all the thoughts exploring what it is to be Alicia.

Serving through the love I discover within.

What is your practice to feel? to go within? to allow the messiness to feel the truths?